Chip de Cuisine
The Chip. Or as Kevin Kline's Oscar winning character Otto in A Fish Called Wanda called it, "England's contribution to world's cuisine". The British may have many wonderful qualities, and England may be a fine country, but when it comes to the food, well...let's just say thank heavens for Marks & Sparks Ready Meals.
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Kevin Kline, Michael Palin and
The Chip in A Fish Called Wanda. |
Take "mushy peas" for instance - yes, the green slop that's served up with fish and chips and looks like something you'd serve an infant, actually has a name. There are even recipes on how to make them, all of which bear a striking resemblance to "pea soup". But fish 'n chips covered in "pea soup" would be a pretty strange combination and we Brits prefer our food plain, practical and preferably processed.
Much to the disconcertion of the British Government.
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Cod and Chips served with Mushy Peas.
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In fact, when research showed that 60% of Brits are overweight or obese, the Government promptly set out to change the eating habits of its loyal, but hefty, citizens. They conducted a study which determined that "eating a diet high in processed food increases the risk of depression". If devourers of junk food weren't depressed before, chances are they were after reading those results. The study went on to report that the happiest people were those that adhered to the "Mediterranean diet". I guess it never occurred to them that maybe they are the happiest because they live in the Mediterranean.
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Marks & Spencer Ready Meal.
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Even more depressing than those study results though is the fact that the British Government spent £3.3 million over the past four years marketing the message that five servings of fruit and vegetables a day would keep obesity away. Their efforts proved, well I guess you could say, fruitless. Taking Churchill's advice to "never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never", the Department of Health has now joined forces with food and advertising companies to launch the biggest anti-obesity-marketing campaign ever seen in Britain. The consortium, which includes food, soft drink, and commercial broadcasting companies, is contributing £200 million in cash and free air time to a new Government campaign called "Change 4 Life".
Yes, that's right: the very purveyors of all things processed will be actively persuading people not to buy their products. And if you believe that, there's a spaghetti tree in Switzerland ripe for the plucking.
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The Spaghetti Tree hoax of 1957.
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I refer, of course, to the 1957 hoaxing of a nation, whereby the producers of the highly respected BBC current affairs program Panorama, created an April 1st news item that had viewers believing that spaghetti grew on trees. Film footage accompanied by the mellifluous tones of broadcaster Richard Dimbleby showed a family in Southern Switzerland harvesting spaghetti from the fictitious "spaghetti tree".
The day after the program aired, the BBC was inundated with hundreds of phone calls from the viewing public asking how they could grow their own spaghetti trees. It seems hard to imagine nowadays, but back in the 1950s and '60s spaghetti was considered by many Britons to be an "exotic delicacy" and people were unaware that spaghetti is a pasta made from wheat flour and water.
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World War II ration books.
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You have to remember, though, that this was also the time when olive oil could normally only be found in a chemist, or on the arm of Popeye. All thanks to the rationing policies imposed by the British Government during World Wars I and II. Policies which outlasted the war by almost a decade. The rationing of some items even began after the Second World War. Potato rationing for instance didn't start until 1947, which was part of the Ministry of Foods attempts to address the post-war economic problems. It resulted, however, in a whole generation of Britons growing up without the opportunity to become "foodies". And so began the origin of British cuisine's poor international reputation. A reputation that may well be unwarranted.
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Curry and Chips.
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It turns out that not only do the British now consume more garlic per capita than the French, but the most popular British food eaten today is curry. This is probably owing to the fact that it's on the take out menu at the local chippy. Yes, while curry is fast replacing mushy peas as the accompaniment of choice, one thing remains constant: the Chip. Gaw'd bless it and long may it reign!
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